Spaced out. Cast out. Cashed out. The last hundred grand; contemplative measures. Measuring success. Measuring meaningless victories. Mingled in with failures at the sun hotel. Sleepless nights replaced with vivid dreams. Of him. Of her. Of them. I can’t contend. I won’t. Spaced out. Geeked out. Found out. Glued to destructive ways that measure and weigh; I didn’t forget you. Out there. In here. Over there. Over where the stars still sparkle, brilliant and fine. Fine enough to lose myself; sky dark enough to consume me whole…running through the entirety of my life, moment by moment, memories that fade. Not sure why I still hold on. So I can write? So I can share? So I can attempt to care and find some sense of self awareness? Maybe. Maybe there’s more meaning to all of it. I still don’t fucking know. Someday. Maybe one day. I’ll find another way. 🐢
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